My Lady Ophelia

My Lady Ophelia

  I’ve been thinking about the old days. Ya know, when the world turned 360 and Ophelia was putting in one hell of a fight.  She took a pretty good beat down on that last one.  Every so often I catch a glimpse of her, quiet, alone.  The thought of approaching her paralyzes me.   

 I loved her once, her spirit, her fire, her inevitable surrender.  Then, she shattered her truth with obsessive precision and bled on the fragments of her reflection.  The betrayal of hope is unyielding.

 Is it my need to be desired by another human being?  Is it the lingering fall out of our first moment? Is it the paralyzing fear that this is my very last chance to open my heart and accept the possibility of happiness? 

 She quelled the turbulent contemplations between doubt and desire

 her resolve to surrender for the promise of and quietude. 

10/01/14

 

Shall I surrender back into the hollow of my heart and forget about the possibility of joy, and life, and love?  

Shall I shutter my soul from the light of others?  

What is it that makes me a failure in human connection?  

How I wanted to embrace this hope, this chance at beauty and laughter. 

It is my failure that brings my pain. 

It is mine to embrace; 

it is mine to nurture. 

From here I shall retreat into my dark and empty existence. 

I extend my deepest gratitude to a fate that follows me and reminds me that I indeed have nothing to offer. 

From the depths of my being I relinquish my desire to do more than simply survive. 

I apologize only to myself for believing in that which I never deserved.

 

Shrouded in defeat, she abandoned my affections

she had faith and she believed. She believed she was truly worthy of the life she was dreaming.  She believed that each piece of the plan that fell exactly where and how she desired was a true indication that, yes, it was all meant to be.  After all, she surrendered it all over to the hands of fate and held on for the ride.